Not so much has changed for us, but after spending the most time with you this quarantine, I've realized and have been meaning to tell you that you truly are my best friend. Not a day is lonesome with you, even without the presence of a sibling.
I love our late breakfasts consisting of coffee and bread, peanut butter and cheese, while we share our political opinions and Facebook memes. Sometimes you'd have my bread toasted and sometimes I'll cook you extra sunny side ups, the little things we always do for each. (And they all mean the biggest to me.) I wake up excited because of these casual mornings and chika-minutes, and because I don't have to share these moments to anyone (except with Papa). I only have you and you only have me.
I love our cooking sessions for lunch. I know you're getting busier and working harder even during quarantine and sometimes I notice you subtly panic as you lunge back and forth from your work station and to the kitchen just to make sure the food isn't burnt. I haven't helped you so much with the cooking, so I volunteered to do it instead and hopefully help you lessen your stress. My cooking isn't perfect, as I've never cooked this much before. As expected, I burned the steamed pork and added too much soy sauce in my Adobo, but then you were always so calm as you rush to me, ready to rescue. We ended up using hotdog instead of pork meat in pair with the veggies.
I love our complete member dinner. I'd always set up the table first before asking you all to come. I've always found it more comforting to eat with you and Papa instead of being alone, so I enjoy these moments a lot. Papa would always ask how work is going for each other, while I tell you which Naruto episode I already am. Then you'd still and always offer to do the dishes after dinner although I know your hands feel terrible after using the computer too long. I'd jokingly call you off for being too generous. There are days when I like to massage your weary hands on the weekends, but then weekends aren't even your day-offs. You work 24/7, but I never heard you complain, at all.
People often ask me, "Does it ever get lonely being the only child at home?" and truthfully, it does. But I was never felt alone and I knew it had to do with how you've never failed to give me all my needed attention. I grew up, not once, doubting your love and your willingness to make time for me. When I had events, personal errands, or even random shopping days, you were always ready to drop your schedule to be with me. Your dreams revolved around my own happiness. You didn't ask much for yourself but you sure did give me more than I need. It was you who taught me love fearlessly and forgive earnestly. I owe every wonderful fiber of my being to you, Mama.
I know I've already said this, but I'll say it over and over again: I will never want another mother but you. Not even when we argue. Not even when you say no to some of my reckless requests. Not even if they offer me a billion pesos. Not even in exchange for a better life. I would rather be poor and suffering as long as I have you, Mama. You are my most beautiful blessing, just as you said that I am to you. You have the purest heart and radiate the gentlest energy, so remember this, Mama. Even if this lifetime ends, I will wait a hundred more lifetimes just to have you as my mother again.
We could've been in Boracay right now, hearing the beach waves and watching the sun set, but with the pandemic, I guess we'll be doing our usually cooking session together again and hopefully, when I'm financially bountiful, I can bring you, Papa, and Lola to more stunning places on your future birthdays. I promise to be your beloved daughter and your bestest friend throughout our lives. Expect more from me, Mama and Papa. I believe God can feel my intense desire to serve Him and serve my family, and surely He will bless us furthermore.
You are an embodiment of love and bravery. I can never come close to your kindness. But I can always look up to you as I grow up to become the woman you want me to be.
I'm proud to have you and I'm proud to love you more than love itself, Mama. My hero. My reason.
사랑해요, 엄마.
Your number one fan,
Anne Marjorie.
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