thoughts on folklore...

July 24, Friday, Taylor Swift decided to drop a surprise album (out of nowhere) called folklore. As expected, your girlie right here freaked out and spent an entire Friday morning waiting for this highly-anticipated album.

folklore did not disappoint. The general public regarded the album as something they've never heard from Taylor Swift before, but as a fan who've memorized all the chords and lyrics to her songs, this was just another but particularly improved side of Taylor's songwriting talent. It's time to bring her genius lyrical ability to the charts.

I've always known that I fell in love with Taylor's lyrics before her personality, and I'm proud of her letting out an entire album solely made and written for the purpose of storytelling. With this, I'm going to break down some of my favorite lyrics from each track and rate each song according to my own personal criteria.

1. the 1 - 8/10

Falling in love with the wrong person and writing about how everything would've been so good if we made it. This track nailed the bittersweet reality of a girl's "what if's".

"You know the greatest films of all time were never made"

"But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool

And if my wishes came true

It would've been you"

"Persist and resist the temptation to ask you

If one thing had been different

Would everything be different today?"

2. cardigan - 8.5/10

Taylor mentioned that there was a trilogy going around some songs and fans believed cardigan is one of them. This was said to be in Betty's perspective about her relationship with James. As the title track goes, this song feels like being wrapped around the arms of your lover's cardigan as the fireflies sparkle the night.

"And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite"

"But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

'Cause I knew everything when I was young"

3. the last great American dynasty - 7.7/10

For everyone's information, Taylor Swift currently owns a mansion in Rhode Island which they called the "Holiday House". This song talks about the story of its previous owner, Rebekah Harkness and how a "middle-class divorcee" ended up in that lavish lifestyle.

"Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name, and money
And the town said "How did a middle class divorcée do it?"

The wedding was charming, if a little gauche
There's only so far new money goes"

"There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen

She had a marvelous time ruining everything"

"Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever

Flew in all the Bitch Pack friends from the city"

4. exile - 9/10

The Last Time (a track from RED) finally had its own brother. Definitely one of my favorite records especially with Bon Iver on it. As a usual Taylor Swift setup, it's from a perspective of lovers who are both leading their love into miscommunication, mistrust, and slowly, into exile.

"You were my town

Now I'm in exile seein' you out

I think I've seen this film before"

"Those eyes add insult to injury"

"I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?"

"So step right out

There is no amount

Of cryin' I can do for you"

5. my tears ricochet - 7/10

[coughs] Scooter [coughs] - JUST LET TAYLOR GET HER OLD RECORDS BACK!

"And if I'm on fire

You'll be made of ashes, too"

"And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name

Wishing I stayed"

"And I still talk to you

When I'm screaming at the sky

And when you can't sleep at night

You hear my stolen lullabies"

6. mirrorball - 8/10

When the song first played, I'm immediately taken into this retro disco bar where I was dancing and pretending to be someone I am not. I've had those days, when I'd try to fit into the lives of friends who don't mirror my real self. But still it was fun trying to be someone else.

"I know they said the end is near

But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes

Spinning in my highest heels, love

Shining just for you"

"I've never been a natural

All I do is try, try, try"

7. seven - 9/10

Your childhood memories and long-lost friends are remembered once again with this song. I had flashbacks of my little friends whom I spent my childhood with. We don't talk anymore nor do we even remember each other's names, but I can still feel all that we did and how fun it was being with them. Nostalgia.

"Sweet tea in the summer

Cross your heart, won't tell no other

And though I can't recall your face

I still got love for you

Your braids like a pattern

Love you to the moon and to Saturn

Passed down like folk songs

The love lasts so long"

"And I think you should come live with

Me and we can be pirates

Then you won't have to cry

Or hide in the closet"

8. august - 9.5/10

Probably one of my top songs. Similarly linked to Getaway Car and Cruel Summer however, it's more of a soft, well-layered track filled with longing for the secret, summer love that was never ours. This is said to be the perspective of the Inez, the other woman between Betty and James.

"And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away

Like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine"

"Your back

Beneath the sun

Wishing I could write my name on it"

"Cancel plans just in case you'd call

And say "Meet me behind the mall"

So much for summer love, and saying "Us"

'Cause you weren't mine to lose"

9. this is me trying - 8.3/10

I love how wistful and anxious this track sounds. It's having the imagery of a rainy day, trying to convince someone that I did try all that I could but I'm sorry if it all went wrong. 

"Could've followed my fears all the way down

And maybe I don't quite know what to say

But I'm here in your doorway"

"I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere"

"Pourin' out my heart to a stranger

But I didn't pour the whiskey"

"It's hard to be anywhere these days

When all I want is you

You're a flashback in a film reel

On the one screen in my town"

10. illicit affairs - 9.1/10

Man, this song captured exactly what it feels like to be in an illegal relationship, consisting of hiding in the woods and trying not to fall harder for the wrong thing. The way this song builds up Taylor's tension and frustration in becoming a slave to an illicit affair.

"Take the road less traveled by

Tell yourself you can always stop

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots"

"And that's the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings

And stolen stares"

"You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else"

11. invisible string - 9.7/10

What I adore with this song was how she played along with the words, comparing each fact to her relationship with Joe Alwyn. Despite having reputation and Lover, I haven't had enough with Taylor's love songs about Joe. Plus, I'm a huge sucker for the concept of 'soulmates' and believing in a string that ties them both since the beginning.

"And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?"

"Time

Mystical time

Cutting me open, then healing me fine"

"Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven"

12. mad woman - 6.5/10

This has to be my least favorite since I've heard quite enough of Taylor's bitterness and rage to all her traitors. But nonetheless, the highlight belongs to how women are always blamed for how they react, never with who caused her that reaction.

"And you'll poke that bear till her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothing like a mad woman"

"And women like hunting witches, too
Doing your dirtiest work for you
It's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together"

13. epiphany - 7.7/10

It took me a while to find the beauty in this song, but to more listens, I came to appreciate how it was dedicated to the feeling of grief and loss, especially in hopeless times like where we are now.

"Holds your hand through plastic now
Doc, I think she's crashin' out
And some things you just can't speak about"

"Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany
Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen"

14. betty - 8.2/10

Reminds me so much of the Fearless era. With the harmonica blended, it made me miss Taylor's country songs. This is the last part of the trilogy under James' perspective. But this made me scream "Leave him, Betty!", it's ridiculous. No, James, you can't have Betty back after hooking up with another woman.

"I'm only seventeen
I don't know anything but I know I miss you"

"Those days turned into nights
Slept next to her but
I dreamt of you all summer long"

"Betty, right now is the last time
I can dream about what happens when you see my face again
The only thing I wanna do
Is make it up to you"

15. peace - 9.3/10

The songwriting here is unbelievable. It's the feeling of questioning if you're enough for someone, convincing them that you can give them anything except for peace, gripping their hands for the fear of losing them. This is Taylor Swift becoming vulnerable in our eyes.

"But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think love's for show
But I would die for you in secret"

"Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?"

"Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other
Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother
Is it enough?"

16. hoax - 9/10

Haunting vocals and piano instrumental. This even made me ask if Taylor and Joe are still together. She was implying the heart-wrenching pain of realizing that someone actually has the capacity to an hurt you that bad and wondering if that love is nothing but a hoax.

"Screaming, "Give me a reason"
Your faithless love's the only hoax
I believe in"

"You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score?
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars"

"You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for"

Total average score: 8.4

Who would've thought that Taylor would give us a quarantine gift of stories and nostalgia. I can't wait for my physical album copy to arrive!

Also, here's my quick one take on the 1, recorded as I finish this review. <33

the 1 - anne marjorie

The Sunday Currently, Vol. 1

READING a new devotional from Joena San Diego titled She Is An Answered Prayer. This book came two weeks ago and I've been consistently reading its daily reflections! Today's Sunday message talks about Jesus loving us even in our most sinful hours. We've all had our own share of shameful wrongdoings, but He is all willing to give us a fresh start. Joena's devotionals have always been my favorite as they speak too close to my heart. 

WRITING my blog entry titled God Is Bigger Than Your Shame for Wordpress. I have only laid down the structure but I am already thrilled to get this started. This is a topic that I've dealt within the past so I'm hoping I can touch the hearts of the readers as I share my own experiences.

LISTENING to Sweet To Me by Summer Salt. I was going through my Top 2018 Songs playlist and I'm surprised this made it to Top 5. I immediately knew why the moment I played it. Brings me back to my long MyBus trips going home from the airport.

THINKING about how my planned July social media break will go. After intently praying this week, I bumped into the same messages telling me about 'hushing the busy noise on social media' and focusing more on the peaceful quiet where I can spend more time worshiping Him without the influences of the outside world. Truly, I've never been this willing to uninstall all my phone apps! God had blessed me with my pure intentions as I journey closer to Him.

SMELLING the scent of eucalyptus as I scroll through aesthetic clinics online. I miss getting massages and waxing sessions although I've recently decided to cut down on those unnecessary expenses. I still miss them but I now genuinely enjoy taking care of myself more and saving a handful of money.

WISHING this pandemic will end sooner than the experts are saying.

WEARING my batik-designed duster given by my Lola 6 years ago. My go-to homewear whenever I feel like I need a break from my bustling thoughts.

LOVING the movie Little Women (2019). I finished it this morning and guess who laughed and shed her tears throughout? There's a connection between me and the characters, especially Jo---the struggles of wanting to be a successful woman for yourself and for your family. You can watch it on Netflix!

WANTING to see my Lola again. I've been calling her everyday since last week. She used to come visit us every Sunday (she likes to go out on her own even at the age of 72. Praise the Lord!), so I terribly miss her comforting smell and the never-ending masungit rants. 

NEEDING desperately for an income, although I haven't made up my mind on leaving the airport. It's been tough not having a job (and not earning) so I'm still thinking of ways to earn even if that means I have to resign. The aviation industry unfortunately cannot cater to that.

FEELING hopeful and hopeless. It's hard not knowing what happens next especially in today's conditions.

Here's to the madness and more blessed Sundays.

Anne x

✧ ✧ ✧

(The Sunday Currently is hosted by Lauren over at siddathornton. Found inkycherie's versions and I decide to start one myself, too. Spread the love by writing your own posts & linking back.)

Twenty-Two Questions : Answered!

Hello, hope all is well.

Another month had passed by and here we are with July. We have finished half of the year with it shifting to unexpected courses. I haven't been back to work so here I am, trying to finish the anime series Naruto. Seriously, the amount of sleep I've lost for this! (But I'm enjoying it so much. -cries-)

As part of my writing journey, I wanted to ask myself and share you the answers to these life questions I found while circling around Pinterest. 

1. What does your ideal day look like?

An ideal day would consist of good mornings, sweaty exercises, cooking sessions, sunset sightseeing, and Netflix marathons. With this fast-paced world we're in, I desire those mundane days when I don't have think too much. 

2. What did you want to be when you were younger?

A lot. I felt like becoming whatever I desired to be. I watched too much Strawberry Shortcake one time that I dreamed of becoming a gardener. On other months, I wanted to become a broadway performer, sometimes, a receptionist, a cashier, a cook, a nurse, a teacher, a voice-actress. Maybe that's why up until the age of 22, I couldn't point exactly where I want to be. I am many things. 

3. Who are you most inspired by? Why?

My mother. Her resilience and bravery became the reason we made it this far. My family once felt so unfamiliar to me because of all the trouble we were doing, but here we are: conquered, happy and blessed. My dreams are driven by my desire to live the beautiful life my mother talked to me about. She never had it, but she still sees it. I wish to give it to her and be inspired living a beautiful one.

4.  If you had the opportunity to teach, what would it be about?

✨ Christianity. I love learning about God's Words and sharing what God has brought into my life. I feel most myself when I get to help someone believe in His promises.

✨ Foreign Languages. Wouldn't it be cool to understand and speak other words that only a handful of people know? And having to teach it to other aspiring students would make me the coolest teacher in the world!

✨ Neuropsychology. I also dreamed of becoming a neurosurgeon, but because my hand movements can be so ungraceful (cooking even becomes a bloody battlefield), maybe I should just contribute to research and in understanding how the brain and its connections with our behavior works.

5. What habit would you most like to break? What habit would you most like to start?

✨ Breaking the habit of spending so much time on social media. It's all wasted time but I can't get it off my list called 'relaxing activities'. 

✨ Starting the habit of praying. I've slowly started giving time in reading the Bible but I still have a lot of go in training my brain to pray even on the littlest moments in life.

6. How do you like to relax?

Watching aesthethic Youtube daily routines or animated Netflix shows with a cup of cold Calamansi juice, plus a vanilla-scented candle lighting the room. Just thinking about this makes me happy.

7. When was the last time you did something you were afraid of?

Creating an Upwork account and getting hired for the first time online. Most of my sideline jobs are under my mother's name, so I didn't have to go through the process of passing an actual application. But last month, I was able to send some and get hired for a one-time project. Trying out new things scare me as much as they excite me. It was worth the try!

8. Where do you feel the safest?

The place where I am right now--- in my own room and with my family. Thinking about this answer makes me more grateful. It's already a blessing to feel safe in your own house.

9. What qualities do you admire in others?

Simplicity. I tend to think and feel more than I should that people always perceive me as "too much". I am very slow to decide on things and I get frustrated about this because most of my time are wasted in thinking rather than doing. It would be nice not to think sometimes and look at things the way they normally are.

10, What practical skills do you wish you have?

Baking and gardening. We always want things we can't have, right? Ask me then. Why haven't you done them, Anne? Well, we don't own an oven obviously, and we don't have our own space at home to grow plants, obviously.

11. What is your favorite book/movie/song? 

I will answer this in the scope of the recent ones I've had:

Book : Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

Movie : The Tale of Princess Kaguya - Studio Ghibli

Song :  no song without u - Honne (ps, check out their new album, please!)

12. What are some things you've had to unlearn?

I'm only lived for 22 years. I might sound unfitting to answer this question, as I've had more things to learn rather than to unlearn. But I have quite a few points to share:

"Life may be better if I have a boyfriend." - I didn't know how to stop wanting one since I was in high school. I was ready to break the rules to be in a relationship. Even if I knew that I'd look ridiculous back then, I still subconsciously want one. I can't help but swoon over cute boys who don't know me. (cringe!) It took me a shattering heartbreak to release that desire. And like everyone else, I grew up. Now, I feel more alive letting that go and accepting what truly counts: loving myself, loving the blessings God gave me, and loving Him, indeed.

"I will have everything I want if I worked hard for it." I used to put myself too much pressure trying to work things and have them my way. But as I walk closer with God, all those selfish desires now seem pointless. Priorities have changed and I started to loosen up and accept that nothing in this world makes sense except for the things that bring Him glory. God's plans are more beautiful than the shallow ones I had for myself. I let Him direct me instead. 

"Yellow is an ugly color." I missed out on this. High school self would've grossed herself out after learning I now use yellow shirts and journals. It's a happy color.

13. Why did you decide to do what you are doing now in life?

I'm working for the aviation industry because it excites me and still feels foreign to me even after years of becoming part of it. The airport, airplanes, the runway, and the thought of the vastness of this world gives me a sense of freedom and home. I dreamed of freely traveling, and still do. 

14. Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

Composing, creating, recording, and putting out my own song. I haven't done it because I don't think I can write and I haven't had the chance nor the money to connect with the right people who could work with me. I hope someday I will.

15. If you could invite anyone, living or dead, to a dinner, who would it be and why?

Taylor Swift, for sure! You wouldn't believe me if I tell you I've memorized all her songs. The way Taylor converses and thinks about life hooks me up all the time and makes me want to ask her so many questions and get some life advice and probably, make a duet. 

16. What makes you feel most alive?

Traveling. Seeing new places. Feeling the sun. Seeking the moon. Hearing the waves and the crickets. Looking at the sea sparkle. Watching the sun rise and the sun set. ✨

17. What small gesture from a stranger made the most impact in you?

I don't remember much but the first thing that came into my head was that little girl who returned a bus ticket I dropped on the way home. I was already low on money and I bought those bus tickets days ahead so I wouldn't have to worry about the next allowance. She probably doesn't even know what it was but her little mind must've known that it could be something important. ✨

18. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

Yes. I am inadequate if I am to face the Living God in a year. I want to be in peace with Him in heaven, but I haven't proved anything yet. (Not that He wants me to prove myself. He already knows my worth!) I wasn't the best Christian during my early years, so I'm working to be better. If I die in a year, I would only want to spend my days serving and worshiping Him.

19. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I'd force myself to sleep. Who would say no to sleep? Resting is a God-given blessing. Even the Father rested on the seventh day after creating the universe.

20. When is it acceptable, if ever, to disobey the law?

If it entails saving someone guiltless, I would disobey and fight against the law. The laws of men are flawed. Not even those written from the strongest countries would be enough to try to comprehend and go against the way life works and how deep human relationships can become. People will always go through hell to protect the people they love and deem righteous.

21. What questions would you ask yourself?

Anne, when will you start?

22. How do you want to be remembered in life?

Please remember me as someone moving like a wind. Gentle and strong. Fresh and fierce. Always around breathing hope and life.

Wow! If you made it down here, thank you for spending that much time on reading my thoughts. You are much appreciated and loved wherever you are in the world!

Here's to more growth, progress, meaningful realizations, and madness.

Anne.✨

(Unofficial pictures are taken from Tumblr and Google.)

 

Dear Ma,

엄마 (cover) by Jin

Hi Mama Tet. Happy 49th birthday!

Not so much has changed for us, but after spending the most time with you this quarantine, I've realized and have been meaning to tell you that you truly are my best friend. Not a day is lonesome with you, even without the presence of a sibling.

I love our late breakfasts consisting of coffee and bread, peanut butter and cheese, while we share our political opinions and Facebook memes. Sometimes you'd have my bread toasted and sometimes I'll cook you extra sunny side ups, the little things we always do for each. (And they all mean the biggest to me.) I wake up excited because of these casual mornings and chika-minutes, and because I don't have to share these moments to anyone (except with Papa). I only have you and you only have me. 

I love our cooking sessions for lunch. I know you're getting busier and working harder even during quarantine and sometimes I notice you subtly panic as you lunge back and forth from your work station and to the kitchen just to make sure the food isn't burnt. I haven't helped you so much with the cooking, so I volunteered to do it instead and hopefully help you lessen your stress. My cooking isn't perfect, as I've never cooked this much before. As expected, I burned the steamed pork and added too much soy sauce in my Adobo, but then you were always so calm as you rush to me, ready to rescue. We ended up using hotdog instead of pork meat in pair with the veggies.

I love our complete member dinner. I'd always set up the table first before asking you all to come. I've always found it more comforting to eat with you and Papa instead of being alone, so I enjoy these moments a lot. Papa would always ask how work is going for each other, while I tell you which Naruto episode I already am. Then you'd still and always offer to do the dishes after dinner although I know your hands feel terrible after using the computer too long. I'd jokingly call you off for being too generous. There are days when I like to massage your weary hands on the weekends, but then weekends aren't even your day-offs. You work 24/7, but I never heard you complain, at all.

People often ask me, "Does it ever get lonely being the only child at home?" and truthfully, it does. But I was never felt alone and I knew it had to do with how you've never failed to give me all my needed attention. I grew up, not once, doubting your love and your willingness to make time for me. When I had events, personal errands, or even random shopping days, you were always ready to drop your schedule to be with me. Your dreams revolved around my own happiness. You didn't ask much for yourself but you sure did give me more than I need. It was you who taught me love fearlessly and forgive earnestly. I owe every wonderful fiber of my being to you, Mama.

I know I've already said this, but I'll say it over and over again: I will never want another mother but you. Not even when we argue. Not even when you say no to some of my reckless requests. Not even if they offer me a billion pesos. Not even in exchange for a better life. I would rather be poor and suffering as long as I have you, Mama. You are my most beautiful blessing, just as you said that I am to you. You have the purest heart and radiate the gentlest energy, so remember this, Mama. Even if this lifetime ends, I will wait a hundred more lifetimes just to have you as my mother again.

We could've been in Boracay right now, hearing the beach waves and watching the sun set, but with the pandemic, I guess we'll be doing our usually cooking session together again and hopefully, when I'm financially bountiful, I can bring you, Papa, and Lola to more stunning places on your future birthdays. I promise to be your beloved daughter and your bestest friend throughout our lives. Expect more from me, Mama and Papa. I believe God can feel my intense desire to serve Him and serve my family, and surely He will bless us furthermore. 

You are an embodiment of love and bravery. I can never come close to your kindness. But I can always look up to you as I grow up to become the woman you want me to be. 

I'm proud to have you and I'm proud to love you more than love itself, Mama. My hero. My reason.

사랑해요, 엄마.

Your number one fan,

Anne Marjorie.

Feet on the ground, dreams up in the sky

Hello, hope all is well.

When I was in highschool, I didn't have the slightest idea on what career I would want. I didn't know what I actually wanted to do. My dreams were vague, blurry, and very uncertain. But I knew I didn't want to sit around a desk and work nine to five for the rest of my life. The thought itself dreads me. I wanted something that would give me the freedom to work on my own terms, to allow me to express my creative ways in dealing things, that would let me wildly grow in and out of my comfort zone. And then I heard my tita was finally flying out of the country to venture for the aviation industry in the Middle East. I thought to myself, the aviation industry does seem fascinating. I didn't have to deal with paperworks and computer data jobs. I'll be work for the excitement. I'll be working beyond the limits, out to the skies. And that's how I ended up spending four years in college studying that degree and now two years working for the aviation industry. But since the pandemic started, we weren't able to work as much as we used to. I'm stuck at home for nearly 3 months now and flights had barely returned. And I miss it, so much. I miss my workplace, my colleagues, the aircraft, the daily excitement of what's next, our unexpected change of schedules and endless body adjustments from working night shifts to day shifts every other day. Horrible, but I somehow miss it too. 

So to tend to my 'missing the airport' hours, here's a peek on my daily life a few months ago:

On normal day shifts, I usually need to wake up 3 hours before my time-in. I live three cities away from the airport (yes, I am dealing with this distance for nearly two years now), and I drive from home an hour after. At 6 am, I go for time-in and wait for the others to come so we could start applying make-up together. You know how it's always better to do things together right? Putting on make-up usually takes 30 minutes or more, but we do it as quickly as we could since we have a flight briefing which normally happens an hour after our scheduled time-in. So yes, we get paid as we do our make-up! 

After make-up preparations, we'd change into our working shoes and tidy everything before entering the departure area where our operational office is, and start our briefing at 7 am. The assigned supervisor always gives us new roles everyday. Exciting, isn't it? I could work for the check-in desks today and move for the arrivals tomorrow. So it's always so different and it rarely gets boring. This is the place where time isn't even a problem, it's even our companion. We handle flights daily and we're tasked to finish them as fast and concise as possible. So it's us, the agents, who run after it and not the other way around. (I do know how boring it is to work for a job where you'd always wish time went by faster.)

Deployments range from the check-in desks, boarding gates, aircraft coordinators (different agents for departure and arrival), transfer desks, flight/seat controllers, and document representatives. The wide range given to us is what's keeping us on the edge of our seats everyday.

7:30 and the briefing ends. Supposed we have 3 flights to handle today and the first flight departs at 12 pm. Check-in counters are expected to open FOUR hours before the departure time, so designated check-in agents  prepare themselves by 8 am to open their desks and accept passengers. This role will trail until the end of the flights which is important to keep the coordination. 

Boarding officers are on standby and sometimes work an hour or two before the boarding time. That also includes aircraft coordinators who are assigned to prepare everything that's needed for the aircraft to depart. Both work hand-in-hand since everything that happens inside the airport will somehow lead down towards the departing aircraft. 

Seat controllers are held responsible for managing the arrangement of the seats on board and ensuring that check-in agents are aware of the on-going status throughout the duration of the flights. They also connect from baggage masters (agents in-charge of tallying baggage and getting them into the aircraft safe and complete.) to the boarding gate agents in hopes of getting all the information perfect and arranged before departure.

Document representation is almost everyone's favorite. They're in charge of preparing and getting all the documents signed and ready for the flight. These documents are very important and anyone assigned must always keep a keen and fresh mind. This role is actually that little break we get from the normal interactions we get with passengers. Sometimes we get so tired of all the social interaction that we would only want to work behind all that noise and do everything in our own pace. Documents are then endorsed down to the flight purser upon departure. They need these documents upon arrival to their next destination.

And that's how your entire flight successfully departs. That's one flight down, two more to go. Sometimes we get flight times that are muddled up with each other. So when the first flight departs out of Cebu, everyone moves on to catch the next flight. It can get even more challenging when flights are only minutes apart. Radio communication is hard, manpower can be limited and passengers get confused with the announcements. We need to do extra work on organizing better and ensuring passengers are on their correct flights. 

Working in ground aviation is indeed a challenge on teamwork, patience, and cooperation. We work for more than nine hours a day but I am telling you, none of those days felt like one. We would even be surprised at how fast time flies, and in between flights, we get extra breaks where no one would bother where we are or what we're doing. As long as we show up in time to complete our deployment, the supervisors and managers couldn't care less where we'd be. All that free time is all ours! (Top secret, we sometimes sneak out during long free time. We go out to get drinks or eat unli-chicken. We once experienced dragging out one workmate out from work to go to Busay (that's miles away) and get her back safely just before her expected time. Don't ever follow these ideas thoug :( they're risky! But still worth the adrenaline rush. Oops.) 

Memories pile up everyday. New chikas and 'adventures' can happen to you and your colleagues anytime. You can get a problematic passenger, an out-of-the-world scary flight crew, or worst, a unexpected damaged aircraft! You also meet all kinds of people, from different countries, speaking different languages. You get to know them quickly or some might even remember you until their next flight. Rowdy passengers are always present but we've all learned to put on the tough face and ignore any of our personal feelings. Pleasant and kind passengers are more than enough to cover up the negative encounters we've had with the others. 

As I am writing this, the night is getting colder and I can't help but feel more sad. I just know that I love doing what I am doing and gives me that sense of fulfillment. I love looking at the aircraft, the runway, the vast land, even the taxiway lights that twinkle during night shifts. I love watching them fly out to the sky and it never felt monotonous. I love working with great people and getting ideas out of my head where the environment would appreciate it. I love getting dolled up, doing my hair and make-up, feeling good and looking nice for myself and for my passengers. My co-workers have also became my closest friends, and I guess that's what happens when you do things together all the time, from doing make-up to working things down in calming a passenger! My sense of belongingness and individuality thrived throughout my working days, and I couldn't be any more thankful. I never thought I'd be able to live my younger years fully appreciating my career. It's only until these days that I see it all when it's no longer in my hands. 

To my fellow aviation friends who miss the sound of these giant engines and the laughter of endless stories with your co-workers, we will get there again. We will get these aircraft rolling and flying out to the sky after this pandemic. We will once again put on our wings and take our passengers home safely. Until then, we will pray for everyone's safety. The world will heal and the skies will soon be ours again.

Here's to the madness and unlimited possibilities.

Anne x

Slow Down.

Hi, hope all is well.

June has come like lightning and I couldn't even recall how I dreadfully spent the last few months. All I could remember was that June switched up without much confusion in my heart. Things have cleared up in, to say the least. May was slow and agonizing especially when I felt like I had to sort my own thoughts and answers to correspond with my own questions. But thankfully, God was walking with me throughout the entire process and learning to acknowledge His presence in every question that I had was what made it all enduring.

If you are already hitting your 20's, you could probably be asking the same questions as I have right now. What am I meant to do? Why am I not happy with my job? Is this really the vocation God has planned for me? With this pandemic going around with no assurance of its end, am I running out of time? Endless questions, so little answers, with so little time. I was dealing with those words over and over again and finally, I achieved peace with the few moments I rendered in seeking God's words and journaling (writing) them down. 

As part of my journey, let me tell one reminder that the world has failed to tell you. Are you ready? Your career doesn't define you. Yes, you heard me. If you have been spending your time trying to figure if you're doing the right thing, doing what you love, doing what you don't love, doing what you were born to do, here's my take: It doesn't actually matter that much because any type of work that God has given you is already blessing. It gives you the income. It gives you the experience. It gives you lessons and skills that you never knew you needed. You're benefiting from it, in whatever picture we look at it. If the only thing that's bothering you from appreciating your job is your own lack of positive perception, then you gotta remind yourself that what you have right now is not only a service to your self and your family, but to God. On the other side, of course, if it brings you too much unhappiness and you're being tempted into doing terrible things that you aren't supposed to do, that's when you'll know you have to drop it. If whatever you're doing is seemingly dragging you away from your true self and away from Him, leave. You work to bring Him glory and if your job isn't helping you, that's your sign. But if you experiencing thoughts that only eat you away because of all the free-time we have right now, you actually have the power to stop it. Don't let your career define your status and your image. I know you're letting it take over your entire sanity just because you haven't figured out what you're meant to do. I know you're spending so much of your time comparing yourself to that girl you see on Instagram who has been achieving her 'dream' life at the age of 21. Stop. Take a breath. Your life is just on time. You are in your pace, your own lane, and your own journey. Your job is a God-given grace and if you are doing it heartily with the most genuine intentions, God will bless you even more! And that's a promise from Him. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Now that you've shifted your mindset back to Him, you will begin to trust the process more. You'll begin to realize that time isn't against you, but is for you, for your growth, and for your success. If you currently have far better dreams that are starting to scare you because of self-doubt and lack of self-confidence, remember that God is the almighty Father and He promises abundance. There is no reason to be afraid or doubtful of yourself. He has prepared You for an incredible journey and once you've committed your dreams, your job, your life to His accord, everything will start to become so easy. Believe me, I've spend many nights regretting my past choices (like my degree, my current job, questioning my real passion) but when I shifted my focus towards becoming an obedient Christian, I saw that with all those decisions I labeled wrong, God showed so many other ways and alternatives that I can work through the part to becoming successful. I instead, decided and focused on how I can become an asset to my team instead of slacking my efforts because I was unhappy. I counted all the amazing people I met through this job, all the adventures we faced, and experiences we encountered together. I stopped despising my current situation and focused on becoming the best I can be today. Surely, God is already waiting for me in the finish line with a medal on hand. We just needed to appreciate how we are becoming a blessing to our families, our workmates, our superiors, our clients, and especially to ourselves. You wouldn't even notice that in a blink of eye, you've already fulfilled your vocation. Your lifetime vocation, as a believer of Christ, is to know, love, and serve God above anything else.  Doesn't matter if you haven't figured everything out. Your career isn't your pedestal. Our God is. 

So the month of June kind of glided into my heart peacefully. As I wrote down these wisdom in my journal, everything was suddenly quiet. If I don't excel in this particular field, I can always find another one. I released my dependency to God and now I will only believe that I can become the best in whatever path I choose to be in, so as long as I'm loving and serving my community and my Lord above. Isn't it wonderful? Obtaining peace just by believing in His power and name. No earthly desire nor words can ever come higher than the assurance Jesus gives. 

Here's to the peace despite all of the madness this world is offering.

Anne x

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"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:33-34